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It has been a while since I last posted anything on here. I ran away from KT because I was ashamed, unmotivated and lost. In the past two years I've gained about 50lbs. I've never been this big or unhealthy. I've stumbled at this eating clean thing a few times over the past 4 years - I'm down but not out.
Something happened in the last 2-3 weeks and my motivation is back, enough is enough and I'm back on the saddle, eating almost 100% clean and exercising. Something has changed this time, I no longer want to do this just to lose fat (although that is a GREAT bonus), I want to be healthy and put good things into my body to fuel it, I want to feel strong, lean and limber. No more of this fat girl in a healthy, fit girl's body, I'M DONE!!!
I'm done being lazy
I'm done feeling sorry for myself
I'm done feeling down all the time
I'm done avoiding all mirrors because I'm scared of getting a glimpse of myself
I'm done eating garbage
I'm done wearing layers upon layers of clothes in hopes that it'll suck me in
I'm done avoiding social events where there will be people I haven't seen since I gained the weight
I'm done avoiding any and all photos
I'm done hating the way I look
I'm done crying over the way I look and feel
I'm done treating my body like a garbage can
I'm done making excuses
I'm done telling myself I can't do it
I'm done thinking I can't do it
I'm done with the negative self talk
I'm done living a half life.
Time for me to get back to the way I used to look and feel. Time for me to be the person I know I can be. There is a fit, happy, healthy girl in there somewhere who is dying to come out.
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Rating:
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Written
6 months
ago by
MKat84
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UPDATE: Please read before you enter the 5th ECD Makeover Challenge. All questions must be sent to [email protected]
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Good morning KT'ers!
Every morning I wake up and hit up the KT to see what people are having with issues, who's new and generally hear about the success of everyone that is on the same Clean Eating journey that I am. Lately I've seen quite a few posts of "I'm frustrated and I fell off the wagon" or "I'm too addicted to ______ to eat clean and I can't control my cravings".
It's complete BS! If you're reading this and you have been thinking about quitting on yourself lately, or you find eating clean to be "hard", take a second look at why you want to lose weight. I was in those shoes many times before, where I would start a diet, work out daily, then just give up because I didn't want it any more. In all honesty, if I wanted to be 150 pounds and healthy and fit and able to enjoy life, I wouldn't have stopped, nor would I have started my lazy habits and eating shitty food to begin with. I wouldn't have made the 1000 excuses I did to get out of the gym or to go grab chips and pop at the corner store at night.
It is hard to lose weight, trust me, I'm in that boat right now, but I'm doing it. I'm working around cravings and enjoying my morning workouts (even at 5:30!). It's hard, but if you want it, keep going. Stop making excuses to why you can't work out or eat clean. You know that donut tastes like shit and will go right to your ass, so why not do berries and yogurt instead? Stop making excuses for why you're fat, why you can't succeed, or why life is so hard on you, there are plenty of people that have it harder than you do.
Chances are, if you aren't ready to give up the sweets and focus on putting good foods into your system, or take the time to workout (even walking for a half hour a day), you're subconsciously happy being overweight and unfit. The goals that you list don't really hold any merit to you and you expected a quick fix for weight that took you years to put on. Eating habits don't change overnight, muscle doesn't appear out of nowhere, but it's up to you to decide if you really want it, or if you're happy being a size 18 and shopping in the plus sized section.
I know I wasn't happy with myself, and I have completely changed my mentality towards food, being prepared and exercise, and I'm well on my way. I look forward to motivating people on the KT with how well I've done and encouraging others to not give up and begin their journeys with optimism. It is not a place to have a pity party when you give up on yourself and your shot at enjoying a happy and incredibly longer life with your loved ones.
Having a hurdle with chocolate or triggers (like weekly date night with your beau) is good to question through the KT and find a solution through networking, but we all can't make you want to lose weight if you don't want to. We can't shove good food in your mouth. We can't take you to the gym with us. We can't ensure that your inches are going to go down. That is up to you.
So today, stop making excuses to why you cannot, and start making power statements to why you can.
You can do it because you're determined.
You can do it because you hate the way your thighs rub together.
You can do it because you have grandkids that you want to see get married.
You can do it because you want to be an active parent for your future kids.
You can do it because you want to feel sexy naked.
You can do it because YOU said you can.
xo Laurie
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I’m back home in Bonnie Scotland!!! I spent 2 days last week travelling half way across the world from Hawaii to visit my family for the next 4 weeks. My trip couldn’t have fallen at a better time! What a way to celebrate my weight loss victory; WITH MY FAMILIA!!!! Not to forget my family had NOT seen me since Christmas 2009!!!! My parents nearly had a heart attack when I came through the arrival doors at the airport!!!!! They are so happy for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen such pride in their eyes. It’s been the best gift I’ve ever given them!!!!
My parents have always been health and fitness fanatics, and have always tried to encourage me, but this never stopped me gorging down food in private for comfort … I thought perhaps coming back might be difficult and I may fall back into my old ways, but I’ve never felt stronger, and I’ve come back to fight my demons with vengeance! I’ve asked my parents to take me on all the walks, hills and mountains I used to complain, moan, and grump about doing, because I want to remind my closet “fat girl” that she’s NOT getting out!
The ultimate pay back to her, "MY FAT GIRL" was when I took my final measurements for the challenge. The goal for the challenge was between 138-140 pounds @ 20% body fat, BUT I think I can say I BEAT that when I weighed in at 147 pounds @ 19.5% body fat, because in JUST the last 11 weeks I gained 11.5 pounds of lean muscle mass, which I think proves the scales are a load of CODS-WOBBLE-TRASH and should be thrown down a bloody 300 story building!!!!!!!!! The muscle mass gain was ultimately the cherry on the cake!!!!! I’m a VERY happy, clean eating, carrot munching, hoppy bunny!!!!!!!
However the ONE person I’ve been DYING to share this success with is my husband and after not hearing from him for almost 3 weeks, he couldn’t have had the chance to call me at any better time, it was almost like he knew I needed him! Oh the power of LOVE! … I was just about to board my flight to London in Chicago with a bag of mixed emotions. I had my photo shoot, and cheesecake reward the day before, and I had e-mailed my husband with the preview shots as a surprise. My phone has been glued to my side since he’s been gone but this time I was ANXIOUS to hear from him more than ever, and as I was just about to turn off my cell for the flight, that strange little international number popped up on my phone!!! IT WAS HIM!!! Now of course I’m like a weeeee girl when it comes to sound of his voice on the telephone, and when I was standing in the boarding line for the plane I immediately turned into a blubbering hyperventilating mess!! Oh the joys of a deployment! Haha! … He said he had just opened his e-mail and when he saw the photos his jaw dropped to the floor. Then he got all sentimental on me telling me he’s sorry he couldn’t be there with me, but wanted me to know that he’s never been so proud of anyone else in his life, and he promises me he’ll make it up to me when he gets home. Oh my goodness, THEN he goes on to tell me that whenever he’s out patrolling, he knows he’s in a “safe” zone when he sees wild thistles growing (which is a purple, thorny, prickly headed flower, and just so happens to be Scotland’s national flower), as it instantly makes him think of me, feel connected and close to me…HA! Needless to say I got a few “are you o.k’s?” as I’m boarding the plane!!!!
So to explain my tattoo that you’ve probably seen in some of my photos, well needless to say, it’s a thistle, and the drawing deliberately has exaggerated prickly thorns. Now i've always been against tattoo's, but THIS YEAR I felt so compelled to get this tattoo on my side for very deep personal reasons (it will remain my only tattoo) … One reason being - “You can take the lass oot o’ Scotland, but yeh cannae take the Scot’s oot the lass”!! haha!! … HOWEVER, most importantly there is an old saying in Scotland, that my dad used to say to me all the time growing up, but I never really understood it’s context until earlier this year… the saying goes … “you just gotta grab the thistle by the hand!” … MEANING = if you want to get somewhere in life, you’ve just got to go for it, even though it can be painful and hard work along the way!!
AND WELL, that my friends, is exactly what I have done over the last 11 months!! I grabbed life, I made that needed change in myself, and I made a conscious effort to fill my life with LOVE; the love of the eat-clean lifestyle, the love of health and fitness, the love of life, and the love of family and friendships! As it is ultimately this that has drawn me into this new world of happiness, knowledge, hope, strength, and confidence!!
I TRULY HOPE that the gift of sharing my success’, triumphs and achievements will help illuminate your path to a NEW AMAZING YOU!!!!
ONWARD AND UPWARD!!!!
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It is hard for me to share this, but I am inspired to tell this story by the emotion eating posts and replies I've read. Today is my mother's birthday, she would have been 61 today. She was the best mom a girl could want and continues to inspire me to be my best, love life, and treat myself well (which is what every mom wants for her daughter). She died nearly 4 years ago from kidney cancer, despite her commitment to eating well and practicing yoga.
This day would typically start a downward spiral for me that would last until February, just after the anniversary of her death. That means, yes, I would go through the holiday season with great sadness in my heart, every day. And I would treat that sadness with wine and sweets, which are ever-present around the holidays. And the "its the holidays, why not" excuse seemed like a good one.
Well I'm not doing that this year. No way. Another lesson my mom taught me is that life can be stolen away too quickly. I am going to live my life to its fullest, enjoy my family, and keep my heart open to possibilities. That's what she would have wanted for me, that's what I want for myself, and that's what I want for my daughters. A positive legacy has begun, with me, today.
Thanks for listening.
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Rating:
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Written
3 years
ago by
kyoung
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We all know that white sugar is really bad for us. But why? Read on, and see if you look at it the same again:
Sugar is without question one of the most dangerous substances on the food market today.
What we are talking about here is sucrose, the white crystalline sugar refined from cane or beet juice by stripping away all its vitamins, minerals, protein, fiber, water, and other synergists.
White sugar is an industrially processed chemical not found in nature, and it is not fit for human consumption.
Other sugars such as fructose (in fruit and honey), lactose (in milk), and maltose (in grains) are natural substances with nutritional value.
Raw sugar is a coarse, brown, sticky variety made by simply boiling down whole cane juice and it too is a wholesome food, but it is very difficult to find in the Western world.
The so called 'brown sugar' sold in supermarkets is nothing more than refined white sugar with some molasses spun back into it for color and flavor. It is not a 'health food'.
Sugar suppresses the immune system by causing the pancreas to secrete abnormally large quantities of insulin, which is required to break it down.
Insulin remains in circulation in the bloodstream long after sugar has been metabolized, and one of its main side effects is to suppress the release of growth hormone in the pituitary gland.
Growth hormone is a primary regulator of the immune system, so anyone who eats a lot of sugar every day is going to experience critical growth hormone deficiency and consequent immune deficiency caused by the constant presence of insulin in the bloodstream.
Furthermore, refined white sugar is treated as a toxic foreign agent by the immune system, owing to its unnatural chemical structure as well as the industrial contaminants it retains from the refining process.
Sugar thus triggers an unnecessary immune response while simultaneously suppressing immune function, thereby debilitating the immune system with a double edged sword.
Sugar is the chief culprit in many diseases and degenerative conditions.
It can easily cause diabetes and is a major factor in candidacies, both of which are epidemic in the industrialized Western world.
Since sugar is 'nutritionally naked', the body must 'borrow' the missing vitamins, minerals and other synergistic nutrients required to metabolize sugar from its own tissues. Sugar also inhibits the absorption of the nutrients in the foods you eat, so you're nutritionally deficient from two fronts.
Heavy sugar consumption therefore causes a constant siphoning of nutrients from the body. Recent evidence suggests that sugar causes dental problems not so much by contact with the teeth but rather by leaching the teeth of calcium from within.
Sugar also depletes the body of potassium and magnesium, which are required for proper cardiac function, and is therefore a major factor in heart disease.
The nutritional leaching caused by sugar can give rise to intense food cravings and eating binges, as the body seeks to replenish the nutrients 'stolen' from it by sugar.
Most people consume far more sugar than their bodies can possibly use for energy. When this happens, the liver converts the extra sugar into molecules called triglycerides and stores it as fat, or else produces cholesterol from the by-products of sugar and deposits it in veins and arteries. Sugar is thus a major factor in obesity and arteriosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) as well.
Sugar is an addictive substance. In Sugar Blues, William Dufty writes; 'The difference between sugar addiction and narcotic addiction is largely one of degree.'
Abruptly giving up sugar invariably brings on the sort of withdrawal symptoms associated with narcotic drugs- fatigue, lassitude, depression, moodiness, headaches, aching limbs.
Its addictive nature is also reflected in current per capita consumption in the USA- an average of 130 pounds of sugar per person per year, or about 1/3 pound daily. That qualifies as 'substance abuse'. Most people don't even realize how much sugar they're taking every day because much of it is hidden in other foods.
A 12-ounce can of a typical soft drink, for example, contains about nine teaspoons of refined white sugar.
Sugar consumption in the USA is so high that it has also caused a social problem through its deleterious effects on behaviour, especially in children, who are displaying increasingly severe behavioral disorders and learning disabilities.
In a recent study conducted by Dr. C. Keith Connors of the Children's Hospital in Washington, DC, a 'deadly' link was established between the consumption of sugar with carbohydrates (such as breakfast cereal, cake, and biscuits) and violent behaviour, hypertension, and learning impediments.
In other studies, chronic violence in prisons was remarkably reduced simply by eliminating refined sugar and starch from prison diets. Singapore in 1991 banned sugary soft drink sales from all schools and youth centers, citing the danger that sugar poses to the mental and physical health of children.
Still want sugar in your morning coffee?!
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CONGRATULATIONS, TOSCA!
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A clean challenge for a clean lifestyle!
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I was recently invited to shoot with Oxygen Magazine in Toronto, Ontario! Not bad for a chunky chick-turned fitness model!!
While at the shoot, the Oxygen Magazine staff announced that my Success Story, which appeared in the September magazine issue, is now in the Bookazine- on shelves April 2012! What an honor! This is a dream come true!
Oxygen Magazine was a big part of my motivation during my 50 pound weight loss and still is today!
I hope to work with the Oxygen staff again soon! What an inspirational team!
Until then, I'll be on cloud nine!
Sincerely,
Kelsey
P.S. Eat clean and follow your dreams!!
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No, this life that I am living is not normal. The results I desire are not typical. You can't 'want' this, you can't 'wish' this, you gotta work for this and fight being 'ordinary' and press into the extraordinary!